i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
