I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
