R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
