he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
