I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
