she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize