i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
