We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize