I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize