Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
