how can u be prego again
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
