you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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