sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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