why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Too much gin, very little bucket
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
