just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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