Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
