Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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