even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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