Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize