Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
