I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
