i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
