there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
