I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
