I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize