I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
