I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
