and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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