Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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