That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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