Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
