I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
