I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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