did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
