if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
