Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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