hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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