My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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