Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
