Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It was like getting head from an anaconda
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Found the puke drawer
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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