they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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