...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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