i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
