Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
