Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
