And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
