"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize