also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
