Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
