How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
