For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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