So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
