Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
