why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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