dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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