They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize