fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
