I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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