i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You've changed since you got that strap on
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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