Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
