wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
