i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
