I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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