Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
